1) My dogs. They’re assholes. Barking, muddy paws, and suddenly becoming incontinent because ZOMG it’s raining outside. Fuckers.
2) Three- year olds. THE HELL? I bribe you to poop, every meal is hand delivered, you have more toys than FAO Schwartz. Yet you still have tantrums? A little over-dramatic, don’t you think?
3) Not. sleeping. through. the. night. See points one and two. Four times. Each.
4) Sibling rivalries/arguments. Get the fuck away from each other and stop talking. Seriously? It’s not that hard. WHY MUST IT BE THAT HARD?
5) Not having a live-in maid. That’s just horseshit.