Today we found out that our bearded dragon (Yoda) is most likely not actually a bearded dragon. Nor is he a boy. Also, our dumpy frog, Ghibli? Yeah, she’s not a girl. Color me surprised!
This was really exciting stuff (we lead a quiet life, it’s the little things) and so I started yelling for JP because, holy hell! His bearded dragon is probably a Henry Lawson’s Dragon which is sort of novelty in the reptile world (not rare, just not terribly typical) and, beyond that he’s a she!
“JP! Hey! JP!”
My friend Snake Man Dan, whom JP idolizes, was at our house and yet…the child was nowhere to be found.
“Where’s JP?” I asked my husband.
“You left him at school*,” SG said with total ambivalence. Like it’s a NORMAL thing to leave my 9-year old at school.
“OH SHIT!” I shouted in front of SG, XC, Dan and Dan’s 5-year old son.
“Nice, hon. Nice language. And you forgot our kid.”
In my defense, my husband didn’t even notice I came home with one less child** than I left with so, as far as shitty parents go, he gets at least partial credit.
And I had, in fact, left my son at school. He’d been there for a good 10 minutes. FORGOTTEN BY HIS MOTHER.
My friends noticed (thank the sweet baby Jeebus) so my neighbor/friend was walking my child home when my husband drove by and claimed him.
JP was very blasé about the whole thing. “I know mom. It’s okay. You didn’t mean to.”
(Translation: quit hugging and kissing me in front of my friends and super cool Snake Man Dan, sheesh woman!)
School starts on Monday which is a good thing because, apparently, I’ve had about all the summer I can stand.
*We spent Saturday at school for a bone marrow donor drive which was AWESOME.
**Technically, I did actually come home with two children. Just not two children who were both mine. One of them was SG’s friend…a younger, smaller girl and, therefore, could never be confused with JP.