It’s been a month.
Lots going on. Not much good.
Though it could be worse. So, so much worse.
I’m watching my oldest child spiral. Again.
He slammed his head into a wooden chair at school so hard it bled a little, left a goose egg, and there’s still a bruise several days later. I nearly cried terrible tears of frustration and fear and anger in front of most of the school staff, my son, and all the students when his teacher told me about it.
He was upset over not remembering his login information for computer lab.
Calls were made, emails were written.
We’re changing up his meds. Again.
Next week Mr. G and I are going to talk to someone who might be JP’s new therapist. The next person we see is going to be someone we love.
I’m grappling with the emotional ramifications of a diagnosis I foresee in the very near future (Aspergers Syndrome). It’s not like it will be a surprise.
I’m just tired and sad a frustrated.
Can you imagine what life must be like for my son? He’s in a vacuum of negativity for things he can’t control. We keep fucking with the chemicals in his brain and expecting things that he’s probably not capable of right now.
Normalcy and happiness…that’s all I want for my kids and yet, for my oldest son, I might as well try to buy the moon.
Note: I’ve updated the “Being JP’s mom” page with most of the posts documenting the last few years of dealing with ADHD and anxiety disorder.