Where we’re at

When we last left our 9-year old hero, we were trying to decide if home school would be a better alternative to public school. Honestly? I can’t confidently answer that question one way or the other. We’ve talked to all the major players: the therapist, psychiatrist, teacher, school social worker, principal, and JP. Mr. G and have discussed it (and continue to discuss it) at length. I sat down with a couple of friends who home school (one’s experience made me feel confident about doing it, the other’s gave me great pause), picked their brains, asked lots of questions, looked at curriculum and workbooks.

I did my research and can tell you that my indecision is not because I’m blindly groping at straws. At the end there was no clear-cut answer. No startling revelation. There was no aha! moment. I didn’t hear the voice of God pointing me down the right path. White noise, yes. Bells and sirens over a decision, no. There was no right answer, only two choices that were merely different from, not better than, each other.

For the time being, he’s back at school, I’m going to get to work on a 504 Plan, the school is giving him  a few options to relieve stress and anxiety at his discretion during the day, and they’re also doing a few things to help boost his ego (helping kindergarteners with their reading, for example). I feel like they’re willing to go above and beyond to make school a positive place for him and, the fact of the matter is, JP doesn’t want to do home school. Hell, I don’t know that I want to do home school. I damn near wept with joy when they went back to class today.

So, I’m here, waiting for the other shoe to drop- because it always drops. The battle against this menace that plagues my child and our family rages on as it has for years. And, yet again, I find myself saying, “We’ll just wait and see…” because if there’s anything I know it’s that I am impotent in my ability to prevent what will happen (re: spiraling and growth spurts) because there’s no good way to get a jump on that. It is what it is…we’ll wait and see.



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