As previously mentioned, my parents bought a computer. Even though it’s only been 36-hours and the damn thing hasn’t left the box, frustrations are mounting.
My favorite conversation of the Great Computer Fiasco of 2011 thus far:
Mom: Can I just call and have them turn on the internet?
Me: Who’s “them?”
Mom: I don’t know. Whoever I call.
Me: No. (I then gave her an abbreviated explanation of how that process would work.)
Mom: Oh. Okay. But who do I call?
Mom: I’M NOT GIVING THEM ANY MORE OF MY MONEY*. Can’t I go through Sage?
Me: They have dial-up. You don’t want dial-up.
Mom: Who else can I use?
Me: AT&T, I think.
Mom: No, I don’t like them.
Me: Then you’ll have to use Comcast until Sure West is out there.
Mom: When will that be?
Me: No idea.
This morning we had a 2o minute conversation about modems and routers that, I kid you not, made us both want to scream. I tried to explain to her, in terms I would use if I were talking to my kids (not condescendingly, just in the easiest terms possible), WHY she had to have a modem and a router.
I got yelled at.
She doesn’t “want a lot of crap” and a modem and router constitute a lot of crap.
I’ve now requested that they return the computer and just let me handle email**. She told me it would be too much of a hassle. For me. Yeah. Because this situation is SO MUCH FUN.
My only hope is the existence of magical gnomes.
*They have a gargantuan Hi-Def TV but they refuse to pay the $5 more a month (on their $200+ cable bill) because “I’m not giving Compost any more of my money than I absolutely have to!”
**This whole fucking thing started because they got a new motorcycle and joined a bike club. The bike club communicates via emails thus convincing my father they needed a computer.